Are you good at first impressions? Can you tell things about a person’s personality in that first meeting? I’m notoriously bad at it. So bad, that I rarely trust that first impression.
Let me tell you about a recent first impression. I have problems with my heart. I decided to go to a cardiologist who was closer to home and one who could meet me at the closest hospital to my home, if necessary. I don’t know about where you live, but here the hospitals are very clickish. Stone throwing between hospital personnel is common to the disgust of everyone else.
It seemed right to change. My old cardiologist is 35 miles from home and it’s not at all convenient to see him. So, I went to meet the new cardiologist. My first impression – male chauvinist pig. He was curt to everyone. Talked down to me. Seemed to expect me to keep my mouth shut and do what he said. I heard him yell from his office “[office girl] how long does it take to go to the mailbox and bring back come coffee?” It sounded so nasty. I noticed the staff was treading gingerly. No chit chat. No pleasantries with the patients. Just working quietly.
Did I want this man by my bedside in times of crisis? Let’s think about that. If I need him to meet me at the hospital, what do I need? I need the best doctor I can find to help me through a crisis of the heart. Does his personality matter or only his excellent skills? I’ve been thinking about this while I went through an electrocardiogram of my heart and a stress test. Could I work with a man who has no personality, but very good skills?
Yesterday I returned to hear the results of the tests. The doctor had an emergency at the hospital and was not available. In his place I was seen by a young nurse practitioner. She seemed to have almost as many degrees as the doctor did. We were almost done when the doctor arrived.
He was bouncy, bubbly, elated. I was surprised. The rest of the visit went well.
Now I have two times to compare. At the first visit he’d been bad tempered. At the second visit, he was in a good mood. Why? Maybe because yesterday he’d won the battle and he loved the victory of it. Is this a doctor I want by my side in times of crisis? You bet.
You see why I don’t really trust my first impressions.
Marilynne
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9 users responded in this post
I’m taking a communication studies class wherein we discuss theories of communication. I learned that first impressions are fallacies because you can never judge a ‘book by its cover’. So it’s best that no one holds first impressions too highly. They are definitely something to consider but not as the last song the fat woman sings.
This is a very difficult situation if I have to decide..I’m kind of quiet, and overwhelming people seem to scare me easily. I hope you have more patience than I do..
Yes, very aggressive people really make me feel like a little mouse about to be eaten. I have too much patience at times.
Sometimes it takes a lifetime to know a person. My first impressions are highly suspect.
Sorry to hear you are having heart problems. Makes me think I shouldn’t complain at all.
I don’t think there’s ever an excuse to be rude to people you don’t know though. It should be part of the doctor’s job to be nice, or at least neutral. You shouldn’t have to choose between talented and nice…
My problem wasn’t as bad, but the taxi driver who took me to the hospital was 12 minutes late and when I asked him about it he was extremely rude and proceeded to yell at me the entire way! I couldn’t defend myself since I had no voice. It made me really upset and in turn I felt even worse.
Btw – yes, my other language is Swedish
A Taxi Driver is another person who should stay calm and neutral. I thought rude taxi drivers only worked in New York City. I hope you’re getting better too.
I always try to remember when people aren’t at their best, that maybe they are just having a bad day. We’ve all been there but it’s easy to forget. Glad he was nice the second time around! Have a good day!
Sorry to hear about your heart problems, I hope this new cardiologist is good at what he does and takes good care of it!
My dad had a heart attack early in January, so I know more about heart conditions and medication at the moment than I care to
First impressions are difficult…I tend to think all people are nice when I meet them and sometimes I’m pretty disappointed when they turn out not to be later. Then again, sometimes I immediately dislike something about a person and then it’s hard to look beyond that and that is not fair to that person either.
I guess we all have to work on not judging too quickly but letting a little time pass to actually get to know more about a new person before deciding whether we like them or not.
That’s so true Kristina. My followup visits have been much better. He has also brought on a physician’s assistant whom I like very much.
I hope your Dad is well on his way to recovery. I’ve discovered, late in life, that exercise is a must for healing many things.
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