That’s all I can say I’m feeling right now – a feeling of wonder. Our oldest granddaughter called this afternoon to tell us she’s pregnant. PREGNANT! I remember holding her when she was tiny. I remember holding her mother when she was tiny. How can this be?
Probably the first stupid thing that came to mind was “Whooppee! I can shop for baby clothes!” Followed by thinking about the feel of a tiny baby in my arms. A mother never forgets, ever, the sweet feeling of a tiny baby cuddled in her arms.
Children have such power. Power to bring out the softness in you and power to get you to act. People change when they’re around children. Children become the focus of your attention.
A long time ago, I was visiting people in a rest home on behalf of our church. It was pretty low key. I’d just go spend some time talking to them and listening when they wanted to talk. Religion never came up unless they wanted to talk about it.
During that time I would sometimes bring my little daughter with me. I talked to her about being old and what made old people happy. I told her how much they missed children – well-behaved children, I’d add. She was a great visitor. She’d talk and she’d let them touch her. They were so delighted to have this child visiting.
One time I was visiting an old blind woman. She told me there was no sense talking to her because she was going to die tomorrow. I thought that was close to the truth, but I sat and talked to her anyway. She was really dwelling on dying the next day. I told her that I’d make a deal with her. If she could wait a while to die, I’d bring her something she liked, a surprise.
“Oh no,” she told me. ”There’s nothing I want. I’m just going to die.”
I told her “If you can wait until the next time I come to visit, I’ll bring you something. Don’t die just yet.”
I could see she was intrigued. I knew I couldn’t wait too long.
The next week I had my daughter with me. I’d explained to my daughter that we were visiting an old woman who couldn’t see. My daughter would be a surprise and would make the woman happy. I’d told her about being blind and how the woman might want to feel her. That’s her way of seeing you, I said.
So, we went to the room and sure enough, the woman was still there. I knocked on her door and asked her if she remembered that I was going to bring her a surprise.
“I don’t need anything,” she said. ”I’m just going to die.”
“Don’t die just yet,” I told her. “I did bring you a surprise.”
I could tell that she was torn between telling me she was going to die and wanting to know what the surprise was. I motioned to my daughter to be quiet. We crept close and I asked the woman to hold out her hand. She did and I placed it on my daughter’s long silky hair.
“What’s this?” she asked puzzled and began feeling around more. My daughter giggled. ”A child! You’ve brought a child?” She was so excited. I told the woman that my daughter knew she was blind and it was OK to touch her.
I’m not sure who was having more fun – my giggling daughter or the blind woman. When she was finished “looking” at her she began asking my daughter questions. How old was she? Did she go to school?
We visited until the woman grew tired. ”Thank you.” she told us. ”That was just what I needed.”
I didn’t bring my daughter the next week because I suspected what I would find. The old woman was gone. She had died. But I knew she had had one more happy day before she died. When I told my daughter, she wasn’t surprised. ”She said she was going to die.”
Today, I’m not thinking about death, I’m thinking about the new life growing inside my granddaughter. I’m thinking of the fun of holding her baby and buying it gifts. I think of the pleasure his/her parents will feel in this new adventure. A whole new chapter is opening in the life of our family. I’m excited.
That's me holding my brother Bill.
Marilynne
